Identity Crisis ?

for the last 6 months i've been in misery.
is it crucial that you HAVE TO fit the personality that your friends like?
i couldn't help but wonder, why don't accept the personality of your friend no matter if it changes?
yep i felt that i don't get to be treated like the usual.
they say i'm no longer myself while i'm just doing my thing.
already been shunned once, now is the second time.
the definiton of friendship, well at least to me, is accepting the flaw of those you called best friends and not judging it.
some may disagree since every people have a different view on what friendships are
i'm just the way i am, it's their mind that plays along with their thought.
i couldn't disagree more if i said that being alone for a month in the US would give me a strong attitude.
i don't blame, i just share.
build your trust for the person you know well, one who knows you too.
i can't agrue more.

keep it going louder, xxxx cibot2

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

it was around 5pm. the bus stopped infront of Louis Vuitton.
i don't know what to do. i look up to your face, smiling, since i'm afraid to speak.
all i know is you've got my heart poached and it never went back.
i've been missing you for the past 6 months.
now i hope we'd meet again. even i don't know what i would say to you if we meet again.
hopefuly we can make a connection, neverending connection if it's possible.
do the things i wanna do with you, together.
xxxx, cibot2

Stylist Who ?

i got style. maybe too narcisistic to be stated since no pictures are proven for Fashion's sake
well since i rarely took picture of myself and i don't have too much access to clothes. p.s : i'm fat and dying to be thin
but to summarize, yes i'm a stylist and i do have some style of my own
for another info, yes i'm a big big shoe addict
i kinda mix style from shoes for starters and then just built the entire outfit
i always stated that shoes are investments, i mean it is !
you can never have enough shoes !

from my experience a "shoe karma" does exist. once i said that those Prada Creepers shoes are butt-ugly
and guess what ? i ended up wanting it on my so called "shoe wish list"
first things first if i wanna be like Karla Deras or Rumi Neely or Bryanboy, i have to get a slimmmm boddeh
too bad i got a rough start, boo,you whore (my body)
i guess i can define my style as edgy/boho/androgynous/minimalist rolled up into one ?
well it really depends. with my body now i just ment with androgyny style
just simple tees, skinny jeans, blazers, and oxfords/loafers
i'm aiming to be one of them fashion bloggers (here's hoping)

for additions i'll list some of my "shoe wish-list" :
1. ALL MIU MIU Spring/Summer 2010 Shoes !!!!!
2. Prada Creepers Shoes in 3Tone (Green,Orange,Brown)
3. ALL MIU MIU Fall/Winter 2010 Shoes
(i've seen lots of this shoes and i passed on them , here comes "shoe karma)
4. ALL Balenciaga Fall/Winter 2010 Shoes
(i would've bought one if it weren't that ridiculously expensive)
5. Prada Patent Leather Loafer Pumps in Camel and Wine
(from the Fall/Winter 2010 collection)
6. ALL Rodarte's Spring/Summer 2011 Shoes

i could just kill myself for shoes ! well one could only dreams
till next time ,
keep it going louder , xxxx cibot2

Too Much Spare Time Handed

i've been blessed with all the free time given nowadays
even when i'm supposed to have a class today, i decide to ditch it and have an alone afternoon to the mall
yes i still went to a cafe in a mall, what else i suppose to do anyway ?
by the way i'm too lazy to post and have no ideas what i suppose to put in this vent
now that i'm bored in this mall i decide to spill what's been up to

1. i have to leave the house since my mother still got the idea that i went to college today
but the fact, i ditch

2. last saturday for the past 3 saturdays until last saturday has been a total bust
no getting drunk, no dancing on a club. it's like a dryspell on clubbing

3. i'm no longer reducing my weight due to me stop excessing too much "dump", if you get what it means

4. my sleep hour is so privy i live on american time, CA time to be exact

5. spent too much hour on youtubing The Nanny season 1 and 2. man Fran Drescher is one heck of a comedienne

6. too much unimportant thing to dump so i decide to put it here


my god i have too much free time to do my assignments, 6 assignment to be exact
and still hanging out to be done from the past 1 month
too lazy to do it anyway

i babble too much on making a resume for applying on a magazine intership
and the result ? no resumes are done
anyway enjoy this boring post
keep it going louder , xxxx cibot2

Romance Rehab ?

is it true that nowadays we (girls,women,and me) have become romance intolerant ?
i got a reference (a.k.a Carrie Bradshaw) that said we prefer jokes than poetry
is this a sad thing ? and the question is : is sad the new romance ?
from my point of view, love is just a satire.
cyncsm and sarcasm are the antidote to those broken hearts
is anger is the right things to leash due to heartbreak ?
and is there really a good way to end a relationship ?

one thing that i embrace and really live on it is being Single
being single does not means that you're alone and sad and desperate
it defines that you are an amazing strong person that can make it on yourself
love doesn't always means you and your perfect soulmate, you can become a soulmate to your best friends
and let men be an accessory , a guy you have fun with.
if it isn't men that you order , what else is on the menu ?
you can have it all, good career, fashion, great friendship
for me it is just enough to fill all my life

it may sound sad , but i've been single till now, 17 years i've been single
and you know what ? i never feel sad, cause i got my best friends
embrace other options you got rather than just focusing on love
love may come and goes , but a true friendship isn't
till next time , xxxx cibot2

Abandonment

Not really sure what to post! I've post few times but deleted those post cause i feel a little bit too emo and not worth telling. I really like to write some randomness i sometimes felt along the night before i drift away into dreams. I often spam twitter whenever i felt those in my thoughts. Maybe i spam this page as well? Keep it going louder,

xx